So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
