we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Alive.
So much puke
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
