people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
