I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
