so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
