wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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