I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize