Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
