maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize