Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
