did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
two words: eviction party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
