i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
