in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just found puke in my bra..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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