I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
