capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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