and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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