I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
