that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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