Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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