Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
