You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
