The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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