Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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