Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think my tv is drunk
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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