I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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