You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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