i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
