If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
