I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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