Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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