I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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