yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
