'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
