Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
