I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize