i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
