I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
