I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
