Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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