Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
