speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
