No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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