The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
