Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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