Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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