where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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