its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
