We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The ass gains better be worth it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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