everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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