It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
