we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Two words: blizzard sex
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
