ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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