I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize