Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
