Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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