So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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