Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
