he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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